im concerned about the way people see me.

i dont know why

i think about how old connections now look at me.

i figure they see me as a dissenter.

well thanks,  let me just go sulk off and cry on my bed.

oh wait i dont have a bed to go back to. my family fell apart when i was away. i had no home to go to.

i see the road as my home, my last comfort.

i put my solace in the future because my past is bruised, and well the present, oh god dont get me started on my distaste for the present.

so anyways,

yes its true, ive not made the best decision(s), if you want a confession of my sins just ask. but youll never ask, so im not too worried about that.

I guess you could say I have some hang ups, yeah, a few definitely. mostly with you though.

Im ok with my past, but i dont understand why I feel like im a failure. I imagine what others may see me as I cringe, so much that i couldnt ever walk into the same room as them, i mean even when I considered myself good I couldnt hardly stand to be in the same room as them.

we are all godforsaken masterbating hypocrites.

im just a little bitch. a hypocritical little bitch.

so anyways,
dont think this is who i am, based on these sadistic and negative words. I wouldnt say this is a summary of who i am but this is purely a thought written down in this shit ass language waiting to be misunderstood and convoluted based on your preconceived opinion of me, damn youre a dick.

This is just an attempt at extracting some words so I may better understand my own feelings. but also, im a damn attention whore. If I could, Id stand on the biggest wall where everyone could see me and Id yell hey! look at me! (not trying to make a theological reference there)
in all honesty, I just want to be an intelligent and creative person, I want my emotional life in order and I want clarity in decisions, unclouded by judgement or fear of the unexplored. yeah i mean drugs. no not really, tangent sorry. druggggsssssss

what Im trying to say is, fuck you, Im amazing give me money so I can be sexy and have all the things i want from this world. oh and give me the elixir of life to drink from so i can live forever and share my wisdom to the young jedis of the future.

strike me down now so I dont bring further damnation to my soul...

case closed.

hes an idiot.